I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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