I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Moan for me like Helen Keller
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
