I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
