I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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