last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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