at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize