Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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