Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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