i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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