He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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