Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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