Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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