batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
