I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
