ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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