I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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