What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
