he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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