Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
