Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
