Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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