If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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