you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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