I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize