watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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