You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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