He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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