Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
