In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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