Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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