Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
