He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
