no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
