you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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