Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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