would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
