I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
