What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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