there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
