Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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