I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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