I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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