I've blown a few things in my day
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's never too late to be topless.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
