i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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