are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
