actually, I'm a sock model
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
