Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
