he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize