somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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