I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
